Trabant – The One (Southern Fried Records)

Ah, the trusty Trabant, automotive mainstay of the Eastern Bloc and the first fully recyclable car. Only trouble was, it was too recyclable – in fact, some Trabants actually started to recycle themselves in transit if it rained too hard. That’s the problem with papier-mâché body shells. Rubbish for waterproofing, great for growing cress.

So if you’re an electro-pop group from Reykjavik with a ‘certain flair’ (the bassist, Viðar H. Gíslasona, has goldfish swimming inside his instrument in the video) with a lead singer (Ragnar Kjartansson) who looks like a cross between Leslie Philips and Kenneth Brannagh and a penchant for mirror balls, Trabant is an obvious choice of band name. Pass me the rotten shark, I feel one of my turns coming on…

The One: of six. As this glam cyborg of a song comes squelching, sliding and vamping into ear-view, like a camp ‘Boys and Girls,’ your first impression might be: “My God! Eurovision has escaped! Only Wogan can save us now!” and you’d be forgiven, because it don’t get no europoppier than this; listen to that broken English, the Kraftwerk on poppers synths and the porn-star guitar. This is only a problem, however, if you are not in touch with your European side. Embrace the fashionable naffness and, lo and behold, what fun there is to be had! Ragnar’s whispered androgonous vocals tease out the beat, teenage kicking along energetically with the bass, keyboards and guitars, taking the camp to light speed. The closest comparison I can think of soundwise are Belgian beat-masters Goose, but this is more disco friendly and less abrasive.

Plus you get five other spangling remixes from such I-am-sure-they-are-notables as Filthy Dukes, Black Ghosts and err, Williams. Interestingly enough, each remix takes it upon itself to highlight one particular instrument and run with it, making the track sound like, at turns, The Knife, Groovejet and Georgio Moroder. Why write more than one song, you lazy sods?

Though I am sure it will be a big hitter at the disco, ‘The One’ has all the hallmarks of a song that will end up as background music for Reality TV trailers on ITV – a terrible fate, really, but one that suits the nature of the group’s name. Trabant: the eco-friendly high-energy band. I just hope it makes it to the charts before it gets recycled.