This Is Not TV

I hadn’t come across Master Shortie (DT) before, but felt reckless so off I went. Imagine a band with a dub bass and drums, a hardcore DJ on synths and samples, a Credit to the Nation frontman and your dad on guitar. But the open with a song sampling ‘Prince Charming’ and close with grime epic ‘Dance Like a White Boy’ and get the almost exclusively white male crowd to sing non-ironically to the eponymous title so for that I am well pleased.

Titus Andronicus (FR) are a lot livelier than I remember from their recent debut album and appear to be fronted by a tramp, complete with Special Brew, unkempt beard and incomprehensible between song ramblings. The folk punk fare is more than adequate though and suitably infectiously groovy.

The uncertain temperature drops slightly when The XX (FR) take to the stage, cool impassive aliens from London whose chilly mix of Beloved and Black Box Recorder via Jesus and Mary Chain is ethereal, detached and essentially the young reclaiming shoe-gaze and doing a damn good job of it now they have computers.

Joy Formidable (FR) pass by in a happy, spiky way, with bouncy lead singer Ritzy Brian demonstrating why they’re called what they are. But I have to tear myself away to watch a couple of old geezers from Leeds. I cannot stress enough that The Old Romantic Killers Band are that kind of vicarious fun you have with your clothes on… and I don’t mean the lone fun. Harry makes his guitar growl while he howls and really does make the stage his own. His final act of lobbing his guitar across the stage is not a sign of despair – it is a salute of victory.

>Metronomy (NME), the feeling man’s Kraftwerk, have Ood globes on their chest and make lovely noises. Grammatics (FR) have rubbish sound but an audience so up for it that even Rory looks pleased. Owen invites the audience to clap ‘as long as it’s in time’, only to be teased by this very loving crowd, and slays on half power with ‘D.I.L.E.M.M.A’, ‘Shadow Committee’ (dedicated to recently departed but still alive Dominic Ord) and a rip roaring ‘Relentless Four’. They look very pleased with themselves when the finish. So they should be – it’s the sound guys who should be ashamed.

Edinburgh’s Broken Records (FR) fill the stage with bodies and sounds, from the wistful to the reeling, pulling out every instrument from the box and having a go with them. It’s all good too; post-folk to put a smile on your face.

MSTRKRFT (DT) are without embellishment as they are without vowels. Jesse F Keeler and Al-P smoke and knock out the beats constantly, fighting over a lap top to make trance inducing noises, with the occasional clip of remix thrown in. Would be bland if it wasn’t so compelling.

Radiohead are everything in its right place. The light show is dazzling, the set list, culled mainly from Kid A and Amnesiac is pleasingly unsettling and Thom Yorke is down to earth and charming. Makes slipping in a new song forgivable. True, the guitar could be louder, but ending with ‘Just’ and ‘Everything…’ is… well… more than OK.

Popularity: 67% [?]

The dust has settled, the neoprene-polyester tent fires have finally been extinguished, the scrats have been disposed of in huge refuse pits, too drunk on casual violence and Stella to care… no, that was just one of my darker dreams… and a month-long clean up campaign will be underway from Festival Republic. The festival season is nearly over (Bestival is still to come for all you die-hards) and it has corporate rocked. By way of penance and payment for my place in the hallowed grounds of the guest area, behold! My long-winded review, précis, summary, self-indulgent dry hump lig fest. Enjoy!

Thursday 21^st August

And you all thought it started on Friday – wrong! For the last two years, Dance To The Radio have generously curated an evening of label/Leeds orientated entertainment for the festival early birds.

The guest entrance is closed due to mudding, so after a long trek and having to down my wine at the entrance gate, we manage to catch the last two songs of Wintermute, who seem to be owning the stage when we get there (please note: the Introducing stage has the best sound all weekend – natch). Dan is so in the zone that a can thrown at him is dodged ten seconds before it arrives. Yah boo sucks, you non-fan of nerd rock. Chris and Dave rock out regardless, prompting the mythical unprompted clap along; Ben is so surprised he misses a beat. Rounding off the set with ‘Jambon Jambon’ (it’s French) I get a slight lump in my throat. These boys have grown; soon they’ll be flown.

Dinosaur Pile-Up, featuring ex-Mother Vulpine frontman Matt, come as a bit of surprise – sorta like hearing Mars Volta after loving At The Drive In. They’ve got drop D pop down to a tee, but it sounds pretty standard and fairly pedestrian if well written. Matt looks all floppy fringed but the sound has gone more rawk… it’s satifying but shallow. I will need another band ten minutes later.

After a brief respite to smuggle more wine into the site and meet up with Adam TiNTV, we fight back through the mud to find that the Pigeon Detectives are playing next – a surprise gig from one of Leeds’ favourite bands. Unfortunately, they are not one of mine, though I must admit they have one or two good, albeit moronic, songs. Boy, that hurt. Having taken an age to set up (not really their fault) their sound is the worst of the evening (not really their fault) but Matt Bowman struts around the stage with arrogant flair, stirring up the now familiar chants of ‘Yorkshire’ and ‘Leeds!’ The wine is kicking in hard at this point and I am in danger of coming out the worst at the hands of Pigeons fans. Thank goodness Adam is still sober.

Broken Records, playing to a much depleted audience after the triumphant and magnanimous Pigeon Detectives leave the stage, have many players and many instruments. Violins, guitars, drums, keys, vocals… yep, it’s a bit Arcade Fire. Even more than that, they’re a bit Levellers and a bit Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Folksy and innocuous, they entertain without leaving the slightest imprint on my mind, though that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

What is a bad thing is the length of the Grammatics’ set. Three measly songs with Owen doing his level best to make the most out of a bad situation. ‘Polar Swelling’ is a great warm up, ‘D.I.L.E.M.M.A.’ is the best I’ve ever heard them do it and ‘Shadow Committee’ cranks up like a Bond theme should. They even make reference to Justice’s ‘We Are Your Friends.’ Then it is all over and the foppish four are no more. I am left with a semi-on and a rekindled hatred of the Pigeon Detectives. Rob is robbed.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Another day, another slew of additions to what is quickly becoming one hell of a line-up for Latitude this year – and not a hint of Jay-Z.

Coming in on the Obelisk (surely no reference to Pyramid) arena are New York’s Nada Surf and Murder By Death. Nada Surf have been making ‘beautiful’ music since their seminal debut, ‘High/Low,’ in 1996 and have been touring like relentless rock-hounds ever since. Following the release of ‘Lucky’ this year, they aim to conquer the fields of Southwold and win over the hearts and minds of a more than a few new fans.

Murder By Death from Bloomington, Indiana will be bringing the brooding with their dark, blue grass tinged American Gothic rock and roll. Expect something as boozy, unflinching and swaggering as an uncensored episode of Deadwood with music. Like ‘Once More With Feeling,’ but with more swears.

Joining the Uncut stage (not a reference to religious preference BTW) line-up are a trio of toubadours: House Of Love, Gravenhurst and Heloise & The Savoir Faire. House Of Love made a surprisingly convincing comeback in 2005 with album Days Run Away and they have been retaking England and Europe like some kind of melodic Risk enthusiast ever since. One can only hope that the sun ‘Sh-sh-sh-shines on” for their set. Sorry.

Bristol’s Gravenhurst having joined Warp’s increasingly eclectic line-up will now be joining Latitude’s increasingly eclectic line-up. Expect atmosphere. Expect darkness. Expect me to be there wearing something wintry in the sunshine.

Three things you should know about Heloise… Electro-punk; Graham Norton; Elijah Woods. Bringing glamour, disco and electro to the party, you can be fairly certain their set will be fun, fun, fun. If you like that sort of thing. Which I do. Sometimes.

At the Sunrise stage, we have have a six-pack of new talent itching to entertain you: Broken Records, a year old and already making waves; Anya Marina, she’s on Grey’s Anatomy; the mysterious Billy the Kid; The Beggars, taking it back to 1990; Thomas Tantrum, strop-free since 2003 and Hold Fire; in summary, summery pop rock.

That’s about it for now. Keep an eye out for more updates.

Popularity: 9% [?]